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Frequently Asked Questions
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  • I don't understand how to look for notes to me.
  • How do I post notes to people I am looking for?
  • How do I change my account information?
  • I see where someone posted a note to me, how do I get to it from my account page?
  • I forgot my password and ID, how can I find out what they are?
  • I registered with Who? Me? over two years ago, but I can't find my account now. Your system says that my account does not exist. What's up?
  • I see that 36 people have viewed my posting. Who are they?
  • How do I view/modify/delete my account or the notes that are posted with my account?
  • How come my search for "people search" in Yahoo search engine brough Who? Me? in 205th position on page 11? Can't you get a better ranking?
  • How come my request to have my account deleted is ignored?
  • How come Who? Me? doesn't provide more space in the Extra Information window when posting a note? I wanted to leave more information in that space. 300 characters is not enough space.
  • How come I am not permitted to put my email address in the "Extra Information" or the "Special Message" area of the note posting form?
  • Is there some way to improve your 'Calling Card - Note Watch Agent' so that it sends me notices of notes that are more likely to match me?
  • What do you mean about saving my registration email in an Unsubscribe folder? How? Where? Do I find/create that?
  • When you recieve a posted note do you search your database for possible matches?
  • How do I find out if the person has read my message?
  • Your Calling Card Notices sent to me, rarely match me. But, I feel compelled to send a polite email message to the looker anyway, telling them "Sorry, but not a match". I am getting tired of this. Can this be fixed?
  • I changed my last name in the past. Can I search for more-than-one last name at one time?
  • I heard about 'Who? Me?'. Is someone really looking for me or are you just trying to sell a service?
  • I'm a alumni director for a large college with over 1500 missing alumni. How do I post a note to 1500 different people?
  • 'Who? Me?' sounds backwards. If I want to find someone, it seems to me that it would be faster if I used some other method to find the person I am looking for. How does using 'Who? Me?' over come this?
  • I want to find an old sweetheart. I heard that she married years ago and was widowed some years later. I just became widowed also. I don't know her married name. How do I use 'Who? Me?' to find her?
  • I have Cookie Alert turned on and find that your site keeps trying to put cookies on my system. Why does -Who? Me?- do this? Other sites don't.
  • How come Who? Me? is not willing to delete my note when I send you an Email asking you to?
  • Where did you get those cute cartoon characters you have on some of your pages?

I don't understand how to look for notes to me.

All posted notes in our system are in a database. A database is a type of computer software program that is sort of like a huge warehouse with long rows, deep isles and tall racks stretching to the ceiling. You tell us what you are looking for and our computer goes out into the warehouse and looks for what you want, finds it (if it is there) and comes back to the door and gives you a list. There are 3 ways to tell our warehouse guy what you are looking for in our system. ....
1) Basic Search: Right from the home page, you can enter your last name or gender or year of birth then click on "Basic Search" button. See what comes up. This may or may not produce the results you are looking for.
2) Search Wizard: This is probably the best method of finding ALL the notes that may be here in our system meant for you. Enter as much information on yourself that you can, filling in as much of the information that the form is requesting. Then click on the search button.
3) Power Search: This is another method that can be used to zero in specifically on exactly what you may be looking for in our system. On this form, the more of your personal information you add the more exacting (restrictive/limiting) the search becomes. So you can be very exact in your search.

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How do I post notes to people I am looking for?

There are a number of ways to post notes to people you are looking for.
1) New User: Click on "Enter A Note" from the home page.. tell us who you are.. save/confirm.. then tell us about the person you are looking for (post a note).
2) Existing User: Click on "Account".., "Existing Account".., Enter ID and Password then "Retrieve".. This will bring you to your account page.. Click on "Post New Note" on the bottom of the screen.
3) We send out a number of emails to you (when you register, and 4-8 times a year). On each email there is a Quick Post link. If your email client supports hot links in email messages, click on the link and it transports you directly to posting a note on our system.

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How do I change my account information?

There are two ways to retrieve your account.

1) Go to the Retrieve Account Page and enter your personal account ID and Password.. then click on "Retrieve My Account" button. If you have forgotten your account ID and Password, then click on the "forgotten .." link and enter you email address and we will send you your ID and Password via email.

2) On many of the emails our system sends to you, there will be a Quick Note Post link. Use this link to go directly to posting notes and by-pass the account retrieval page. Once at the note posting page.. click on the top tab labeled "Who Are You?". This will take you back to your account page.

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I see where someone posted a note to me, how do I get to it from my account page?

If you have an account here at Who? Me?, then you were the one who posted the note. If someone has posted a note to you, then they were the one who had an account, not you. Perhaps you are referring to the a note watch agent (calling card). You might have a calling card, note watch agent here. That is not an "account". It is a "personal profile". If you pull up your personal profile, then that is all you will see. Personal profile note watch agents, are not linked to any notes that would have been posted to you.

Click here to view/edit notes that you posted with my account.

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I forgot my password and ID, how can I find out what they are?

You can proceed as if you are going to login to your account and on that form that asks for your ID and Password, there is a link for those people who have forgotten their passwords and/or ID's.

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How do I view/modify/delete my account or the notes that are posted with my account?

For starters, first let's clarify some terms. You can only view/modify/delete the notes that you, yourself, have posted here. We do not keep any information posted by the people who look at your notes. If someone comes by and looks at your note, and if they choose, they can contact you directly. They do not leave any information here on our system.

To view/modify/delete your own notes, we must first know who you are. You must first retrieve your account page (login). You do this by proceeding as if you want to view/change my account. Once you have retrieved your account, from your account page, you can click on the View/Modify/Delete note option at the bottom of the account page. Now, just pull up any note you want and do what you want with it.

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How come my search for "people search" in Yahoo search engine brough Who? Me? in 205th position on page 11? Can't you get a better ranking?

First let me say that despite the fact that we have always experienced a relatively excellent search engine ranking in Google (Page Rank 8), Yahoo, AOL, MSN, and many others, we are always trying to improve our search engine rankings. I know that "People Search" comes in at different places. Sometimes on the 1st page and other times VERY far down on Google and Yahoo.

The search phrase "is someone looking for me" currently brings Who? Me? up first over all (1st Place, Number 1) in Yahoo, MSN, AOL Search, WebCrawler and Google. The search phrase "Looking for someone" brings up Who? Me? usually somewhere on the first page Yahoo, MSN, WebCrawler and Google. "Person Search" brings up Who? Me? on the first page of AOL Search where as in MSN it comes up on the second page. The phrase "looking for information about an old friend" brings up Who? Me? 1st over all on DogPile. Anyway, be that as it may..

An up and coming trend of such popular search engines is that they are starting to move to a paid business model. They are selling key word placement. Now or in the near future, web sites such as mine, using a bidding system, must bid/pay for "people search" to get placed first. The biggest bidder gets placed first, 2nd 2nd and so on. Otherwise, I get listed with the non-paying sites after all the paid ones are listed. I have no budget to pay for search engine placement words and phrases. So eventually I will be listed on all sites down several pages.

Also, Who? Me? is up against a growing numbers game. When this site was started 22 years ago, there were maybe 10 million web sites with 25 answering to "people search". Now, 22 years later, there are perhapss 80 billion web sites with 1000+ that might anwer to "people search". Staying on the first page is VERY difficult.

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How come my request to have my account deleted is ignored?

Several reasons.. 1) All users, at the time they registered with Who? Me?, as a condition of use, agree to update/delete their own information without the assistance of staff, 2) Most requests to delete accounts come in without the user's ID and password. Without this information, we have no way to know for certain who exactly is making the request. 3) We made a special effort to design in several easy means for our users to manage their own accounts.

For these reasons, we STRONGLY prefer that our users manange their own information!

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How come Who? Me? doesn't provide more space in the Extra Information window when posting a note? I wanted to leave more information in that space. 300 characters is not enough space.

We had to make some arbitrary decisions when setting up Who? Me? There were trade offs that had to be made between giving people enough space to give some extra information and not using up to much system storage space. 10,000 notes, at an average of 300 extra characters per note, is 300 x 10000 or roughly ~3 megbytes. Every 10,000 notes adds roughly another ~3meg to the size of our database. This is not a problem if we only have 10,000 notes, but becomes a much larger problem if we grow to 100,000,000 notes.

Secondly we are sensitive to the fact that our users are frequently posting another person's personal and private information on our public forum. Information, which if known by the other person, they might object to ... AND ... object or not, information which an unscrupulous third party might find some way of using for evil purposes.

So we made an arbitrary decision and chose to limit this field to 300 characters. It seemed to us to be more than enough to get some basic extra miscellaneous information down that will help the person, who is reading the posted note, know that it is definitely for them.

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How come I am not permitted to put my email address in the "Extra Information" or the "Special Message" area of the note posting form?

This was implemented to protect you against yourself. It would seem a valuable addition to post your email address in this space, but remember, the information on these notes is available to the public both here on our site and on many places, beyond our control, out on the Internet. ANYONE can come along and pick up your email information off of any one of those places for their own use.

The decision was made to put a restriction on this in order to prevent your email address from unwittingly falling in to the wrong hands.

If the person you are looking for sees this posting they can just send you and email through the special form we provide to them on your contact information page.

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I see that 36 people have viewed my posting. Who are they?

Don't know. Viewing postings is completely anonymous. That is why Who? Me? works. People can browse through the postings and then only respond to the ones they want to.

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I registered with Who? Me? over two years ago, but I can't find my account now. Your system says that my account does not exist. What's up?

You probably changed your email address along the way and failed to update your account here on our system. We are constantly deleting accounts (and any associated notes) and Calling Card - Note Watch Agents when the user's email address becomes invalid.

We delete the Calling Card - Note Watch Agent immediately upon notice that their email address is no longer valid ("user unknown').

We delete a free (unpaid) account after 90 days upon notice that their email address is no longer valid ("user unknown').

We delete a paid account after all phone and surface mail attempts fail to reach you.

It is very important to remember to come back to Who? Me? and update your information when you change your email address.

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Is there some way to improve your 'Calling Card - Note Watch Agent' so that it sends me notices of notes that are more likely to match me?

Many of our users have asked the same question and wish the same. They have asked if there is any way for our Calling Card - Note Watch Agent to be more selective in sending out notices. Its filter is just to general and misses far to often. We are aware of this problem and are currently working on ways to improve the filter so that far fewer notices are sent out and the ones that are are far more likely to be on target.

We have implemented Age and Gender filters for adoption related postings. It is now possible to limit notices to people who are younger/older than you and/or male or female. Just this feature has helped cut back the number of misses.

Meanwhile, until we get other revisions implemented there is not much anyone can do except to not have a Calling Card - Note Watch Agent and just resolve to checking back - searching out database manually - periodically.

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I'm a alumni director for a large college with over 1500 missing alumni. How do I post a note to 1500 different people?

There are several ways to post notes to a large number of individuals.
1) You can use our note posting submission form.. patiently posting your notes one at a time to each individual you are looking for.
2) You can send us a digital/computer file and we will post them for you for a small fee.
3) You can send us a hard copy/typed list and we will convert it to a computer file and post them for you for a somewhat larger fee.

Computer lists can be send to us on disk or uploaded directly to our site.

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What do you mean about saving my registration email in an Unsubscribe folder? How? Where? Do I find/create that?

An Unsubscribe folder would be created/placed in your email client email filing system. Since a very large percentage of our users are coming in from AOL, we will use AOL as an example here. AOL users will want to first create an "Unsubscribe" (in you haven't already done so) folder. This is strictly a recommended house keeping thing. Then save the registration confirmation email to that folder.

The analogy here is if you were paying income taxes. The IRS would tell you to create a IRS TAX Folder some place in your home. So that after you paid your taxes you could save your tax information in some place where you could retrieve it from if you needed it in the future. In this case, it is recommended that when someone is registering at various sites out on the Internet, one good thing all internet users can do for themselves is to create an "Unsubscribe" folder on the machine where they keep all the registration confirmation emails that they receive ... for later retrieval should the need it.

  1. In the case of AOL 5.0 users, start/run/open AOL 5.0 on your machine.
  2. Click on My Files (Top bar "[Print] .. [My Files] .. [My AOL] .." etc.)
  3. Click on Personal Filing Cabinet
  4. Click on Add Folder (bottom left of screen)
  5. Type in "Unsubscribe" ... click OK
  6. No open Incoming/Saved Mail folder and find the email we sent you. Drag the email message over to the Unsubscribe folder and drop it there.
Now, at some point in the future, when you are ready to unsubscribe from Who? Me?, just open the "Unsubscribe" folder, find/open that email and it will tell you how to go about unsubscribing/unregistering.
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When you recieve a posted note do you search your database for possible matches?

We have 3 main databases..
- Database (1) Thousands of registered accounts of people (A's) looking for someone
- Database (2) Currently 24,642 posted notes by thousands of A's where A is looking B.
- Database (3) Currently 6,865 A account profiles.

When A (you) post a note to B in database (2), the system automatically checks to see if there is anyone in database (3) that has a closely matching profile. If so, the system sends an email to all those B's from database (3) who match A's posting. (A's newly posted note might just be meant for them!)

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How do I find out if the person has read my message?

All we know is when your message is opened and read. So we keep track of the number of times someone (anyone) has read your message. We have no way of knowing if it is THE person you are looking for. You can see this number in either of two ways.

1) You can log back in to your account and click on the bottom of the page to view your list of posted notes. On that list, there is a column for the number of times somone has read each of your posted notes.

2) We send out a "periodic checkup" email to you, asking you if everything is still the same. Same address, phone number, email, still looking for this person, etc. On that email is the number of notes you have posted on our system and the total times all your notes have been read/viewed by someone.

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Your Calling Card Notices sent to me, rarely match me. But, I feel compelled to send a polite email message to the looker anyway, telling them "Sorry, but not a match". I am getting tired of this. Can this be fixed?

In regards to the Calling Card Notices that our system sends out when a person posts a new note, I urge you to not respond unless there is a match. Not responding is the default action called for. Our system is sending out the notices to anyone who even remotely matches (sometimes hundreds), but we know from the get go, that most, if not all, of those notices are not a match. So not responding is called for. Responding is both a waste of your time and a waste of the time of the person getting your email. If the notice is not a match then you are urged to just delete it and wait. The next one might be a match.

If you have a posted note here on our system, then the "Contact Response from Who? Me?" which you might receive along the way is different. That is being sent to you by a live person and that email may very well deserve a response. It might be coming to you from the person you have been looking for.

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I have been known by more than one last name in my life (two marriages, maiden, etc.). Can I search for more-than-one last name at a time?

Yes, you can search for more than one last name at one time. You may search for up to 6 last names at one time, by placing a comma ',' between the names in the 'Your Last Name' search field. (e.g. Jones, Gupta, Smith, Chen, Sepowitz).

While we are on the subject, you may also search for up to 6 cities, states/provinces, keywords, groups/organizations at one time. Just separate each search word or phrase by a comma ','. (e.g. you used to play table tennis, field hockey and chess professionally. Someone might be trying to find you by using one or more of those key words in a note for you. In this example, search on 'table tennis, ping pong, hockey, field hockey, chess' in the key word search field).

There are two downsides to doing a multiname search though.
If one or more of the Last Names you are searching on is a common name, you may end up with a rather large list of notes to look through. About 1% of all notes are placed in our system by people with a Last Name length condition. This means that to find their note you would have to do a specific search using enough characters of the last name to qualify for a match. (e.g. Note is placed in system to 'Millerstein' with a condition of 8 - at least 8 characters of the last name have to be typed in exactly as entered here (Millerst) to qualify as a match and find this note.) As a condition of security, these conditional notes are not returned in a multiname search.

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I heard about 'Who? Me?'. Is someone really looking for me or are you just trying to sell a service?
A normal question. Frankly both and neither. Let us explain.

Who? Me? was built on the premise that we all touch a great number of people in a possitive way as we go through life and after many years pass, at any given moment, one or more of those people is looking for you/me/us. Right now for instance. So there needed to be a way to accommodate this need to get reconnected by posting notes on the Internet. A sort of community bulletin board. 'Joe if you see this note, call me'. The community in this case is a worldwide community of people searching for people.

Without a doubt someone is looking for you (in a positive sense), we would bet on it. Perhaps and old school friend. Maybe they have stopped by Who? Me? and left you a note and maybe not (yet).

Without a doubt you are (or anyone else is) looking for someone. You are invited to stop by and leave notes of your own to someone you want to find and reconnect with. The cost is optional. People by the thousands are stopping by Who? Me? and leaving notes to people they are looking for, many without incurring any charge at all. At present, because of our searchable message base, we are rapidly becoming one of the top places on the Internet to leave adoption related messages. We have a large number and get more every day.

We also support lost friends, searching for heirs to estates, missing relatives, group searches (high school reunions etc), looking for former co workers, and more). We give large discounts for organizations wanting to leave 1000+ names with us.

enjoy :-)
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'Who? Me?' sounds backwards. If I want to find someone, it seems to me that it would be faster if I used some other method to find the person I am looking for. How does using 'Who? Me?' over come this?

A very common question. Remember Who? Me? is a Reverse People Finder.

The direct approach works if you know their name or some unique piece of information about the person you are looking for. If you have this information, and if you are looking for just 1 or 2 people then Who? Me? is not a good way to go. You can use any one of dozens of direct people finding organizations or private investigators. But..

  • if you have lots (hundreds or thousands) of people you are looking for,
  • if you do not want to pay much or anything to find the person,
  • if you do not know enough about the person to use a direct service,
  • if you are looking for a person from another country half a world away,
Then Who? Me? is the place to come.

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I want to find an old sweetheart. I heard that she married years ago and was widowed some years later. I just became widowed also. I don't know her married name. How do I use 'Who? Me?' to find her?
Perhaps it may sound odd, but you would use 'Who? Me?' to have her find you. This is accomplished by placing a note on our system using her maiden name and any details you can remember from the last time you saw her. Then when she reads the note she would call you.
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I have Cookie Alert turned on and find that your site keeps trying to put cookies on my system. Why does -Who? Me?- do this? Other sites don't.
An expected question.

The Internet is a changing dynamic phenomenon. Coming from a place, in our recent past, where the typical page was a static page, and going to a place where pages are going to be more like the screens you see on regular computer programs, very interactive and dynamic application oriented pages. Who? Me? is the latter.

All of our pages are dynamic pages, the look and feel of which are created on the fly depending on who is doing what. To accomplish this we need to establish an individual identity for each user and track them through the system from page to page (referred to as ‘maintaining state’). This is accomplished by creating a cookie id for each user. The downside is that you are going to get a number of cookie alerts. While visiting -Who? Me?-, we strongly urge you to turn off your cookie alert. Your overall experience will be significantly enhanced if you do.

Furthermore, we Internet users, are going to find more and more cookie alert instances out on the Internet in general as we come across other dynamic application oriented sites. These are interesting and significantly enhanced sites that add value to the Internet experience. We, ourselves users of the Internet, deal with the same issue, that of giving up a little control over our system to gain a great deal of value in the user experience we get in return. We decided, on balance, the overall user experience is more valuable than the territorial control and associated risks we give up.

Other sites have a quasi solution they use called 'user authentication'. In user authentication you will find somewhere on their sites that the user must register and then each time after that, hit a page where they must enter a user ID and Password to view the rest of the pages past a certain point. Who? Me? does far more with the system that just using user authentication wouldn't solve.
Enjoy :-)
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Where did you get those cute cartoon characters you have on some of your pages?
You are probably referring to these cartoon characters OKCryNo Mail
We liked them to. They can be found at...
Toggabi Signal Cartoons

Enjoy :-)
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How come Who? Me? is not willing to delete my note when I send you an Email asking you to?
A common request.

There are several reasons.
1) First and foremost.. you agreed to maintain (delete) your own account when you registered!
2) For security reasons, we don't want to go around deleting accounts and notes unless we are sure that the person making the request is in fact the real account holder. 95% of the requests we get to delete accounts come in without the ID and Password. Without your ID and Password, we just cannot be sure we are talking with the real account holder.
3) We have a commitment to keep this service available to you on largely a FREE basis. A commitment, I might add, that we have been able to live up to for 22 (since 1996) years now. To accomplish this we must keep our overhead down to a bare minimum. In this configuration we just don't have the resources to respond to everyone's request to change or delete their information. Instead, we designed in special features to permit each of our guests to easily maintain their own accounts and information. In this manner it holds down costs and allows you, our guest, to maintain your own information just the way you want it.

We hope that we will have the cooperation of everyone in helping us meet this goal.
Enjoy :-)
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